Needed: Twelve Step Program For Dumb & Dumber
 
I can't prove it, but there may be millions of people around the globe suffering from an addiction known as CPA.  There's no known cure, no inoculation against CPA and it can strike almost anyone. Millions of teens, twenty-somethings, even senior citizens are inflicted with this addiction.  Many youngsters ages 8-12 say they would willingly become CPAs if their parents would allow it.
 
What is CPA?  The scientific term is cellisphoneitis.  It's commonly referred to as cell phone addiction. 
 
CPA is no laughing matter.  Just ask anyone who has had to endure those annoying ringtones in the middle of a conversation.  It's obvious when someone is suffering from CPA as they will not be able to fight the urge to answer the phone.  After they hang up they will look you square in the eye and say they're sorry for the interruption.  But don't believe it!  CPAs cannot be trusted. 
 
Cell phone users have developed another annoying compulsion: TMS.  The scientific term is texmessitis.  The medical term is text message syndrome.  This state-of-the-art innovation allows users to send and receive messages from their CPs.  TMing could turn out to be as disruptive as CPA.  Case in point.  Recently my husband and I went to a movie.  A teenager sprawled out in his seat used his CP to send/receive text messages to/from his girlfriend (my husband peeked) throughout the entire two hour thirteen minute movie.  The obvious question is, Why would this kid pay nine bucks to sit in a darkened theater TMing his girlfriend?  Answer: He's a moron.
 
Sooner or later the dreaded CP addiction will strike someone you know.  It may be a family member or a friend.  This addiction should not be taken lightly!  All the experts say that kicking the CP habit is nearly impossible, which is why users must be slowly weaned off their CPs.  Most people who try to quit cold turkey experience horrific withdrawl symptoms.  During this time, keep a close watch on your own CP.  In some cases it's a good idea to hide it from them.  Sadly, some CPAs will return to their habit before you can say, "Can you hear me now?"   

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